DAC Episode 336 - Jason X (2001)

That’s one live dog right there facing off with two virtual lions.

Every so often, a movie comes along that so perfectly embodies the moment of its release that it should be taught in history courses as the purest emanation of a given age. Such a movie is Jason X, a movie so 2001 that Stanley Kubrick is lucky he never lived to see it. A space ship with an interior that looks suspiciously like a Laser Quest franchise, populated by hot people in improbable knitwear getups? Hell yes. It’s the turn of the millennium, people. It’s time to take our horror franchises into space on a reasonable budget. Listen below as Aidan and Adam enjoy the hell out of themselves.

Also, there’s a David Cronenberg cameo. I don’t know what else you want from a movie.

DAC Episode 335 - Michael Clayton (2007)

she’s fucked. she’s so fucked.

Spoiler alert: Karen Crowder (Tilda Swinton) is fucked. She’s so fucked. Michael Clayton (George Clooney) isn’t the guy you kill. He’s the guy you buy. If this movie is about any one thing in particular, beyond the moral abyss of corporations and the ways in which community and meaning will pop up like connected air sacs on a sheet of bubble wrap, it’s about the wisdom of proportionate response. You can’t kill Michael Clayton because his kind is unkillable. He’s an interchangeable part of the machine. And if you don’t get that? If you push the Michael Claytons out of the moral abyss and leave him on the lip, casting his eyes around as he remembers the truth of humanity? Then you’re fucked. You’re so fucked.

DAC Episode 334 - Three Days of the Condor (1975)

It’s time for Three Days of the Condor, Sydney Pollack’s masterpiece of Cold War paranoia, a film which suggests that mild-mannered English majors can hold their own in a cat-and-mouse spy game - if they look like Robert Redford, that is. Listen to Adam and Aidan as they dissect the politics of their childhoods and place bets on how long they’d survive if Max von Sydow tried to murder them.

DAC Episode 333 - Destroy All Connors! #6 - Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

never has a live dog live dogged more.

Hold on a moment. Did they make a decent Terminator sequel, at long, long last? Well, kind of. It’s largely great! Linda Hamilton and Arnold Schwarzenegger are back, Mackenzie Davis is great as always, Diego Luna makes for a great robot. Even Natalie Reyes, who takes a bit of a back seat in the midst of all this nostalgic star power, acquits herself well.

No amount of quality was going to rescue Terminator: Dark Fate, which tanked at the box office and seemed to hand reactionary fodder over to the Dipshitosphere. Nonetheless, we talk about the highs and lows as the Terminator story draws to a close. Until the next time someone tries to kick at this metallic can. Listen below or find us on your podmachine of choice.

DAC Episode 332 - Destroy All Connors! #5 - Terminator: Genisys (2015)

whatever.

Ahahahaha. This movie sucked.

“But,” you ask, “how exactly did it suck? Was it an earnest attempt to reboot the franchise with yet another trilogy-starter? (yes) Was it an egregiously miscast snorefest that tried to hit all points on the graph but somehow missed every single one? (yes) Did it convince you that Skynet is Genisys? (no, Skynet is Matt Smith) Is it a fact in the movie that Sarah Connor’s father used to take her to a concrete bunker under a bridge? (yes) Is that bizarre fact ever explained or explored?” (no)

Glad you asked that very long-winded multi-part question. Listen below for the answers, or find us on your podcast machine of choice.

DAC Episode 331 - Destroy All Connors! #4: Terminator Salvation (2009)

hello domino’s? Do you deliver to the apocalypse?

Hey! Who wants a new Terminator movie? It’s got everything! It’s got the original T-800… with Arnold’s face CGI’d onto a bodybuilder. It’s got Sarah Connor… on a series of audio cassettes. And it’s got John Connor - in several scenes! Oh, and Kyle Reese pops up. But most importantly, it’s got *checks notes* fan favourite Marcus Wright, played by Sam Worthington. Who’s Marcus Wright? Oh, I thought you were a real Terminator fan. You could be forgiven for not hearing about Wright, because this is the first time the character’s appeared in the franchise. He’s the main character.

Oh yeah! Terminator Salvation is the story of Marcus Wright, a guy who was sentenced to death before the Machine-Human War but finds himself mysteriously alive in the future. Who is he? Really? Who is Marcus Wright? I hope you’re invested in the answer to that question, because that’s what you’re getting in Terminator Salvation. Listen below or find us on your podcaster of choice.

DAC Episode 330 - Destroy All Connors! #3: Terminator 3 (2003)

one lion soon to die, one cyborg, one live dog.

It’s time to answer everyone’s questions about Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Do you have any questions about Terminator 3, aside from Why was this made? and Where’s Linda Hamilton? There’s a small chance we might have the answer. Listen below or find us on your podnabber of choice.

DAC Episode 329 - Destroy All Connors! #2: Terminator 2 (1991)

a live dog in a world of soon-to-be-dead lions.

What is there to say at this point about Terminator 2: Judgment Day? That it’s a big ole crowd pleaser that updates the Wallace Beery wrestling pic for the ‘90s? That its florid sentimentality is the key to its success? That it’s a hell of a lot of fun? Maybe there’s nothing more to say, but we spend a solid hour saying it anyway on this week’s podcast. Stick around for the Destroy All Culture definitive ranking of all the Terminator films we’ve watched so far!

Next up: Terminator 3: Rise of the MacHines.

DAC Episode 328 - Destroy All Connors! #1: The Terminator (1984)

an undead lion.

Welcome to Destroy All Connors!, a DAC mini-series that looks at the Terminator franchise.

One morning in Rome in 1981, James Cameron woke from feverish nightmares. In his dream, a chrome skeleton emerged from flames. He started sketching his dream on hotel stationery. Three years later came The Terminator, a lean and twisty sci-fi horror about a young woman being stalked by a metal nightmare in human skin from the future.

Adam and Aidan talk at length about the movie, including the accusations from Harlan Ellison that Cameron had ripped off an episode of The Outer Limits called “Soldier” (Aidan actually watched the episode in question, and he is here to tell you that Cameron’s movie does not involve a kindly philologist taking in a confused soldier from the future). Listen below or find us on your podcatcher of choice.

DAC Episode 327 - The Random Canon #54 - Under Siege (1992)

something about live dogs and dead lions here. i don’t know.

Before we recorded this podcast, Adam promised to lead with a question that he promised would ruin my enjoyment of the movie. Little did he know that his question would actually UNCOVER THE KEY TO THIS MOVIE’S GREATNESS.

What is it that makes 1992’s Under Siege great? Is it the dolphin in that one shot from the opening sequence? Gary Busey in drag? The movie’s acknowledgment that the ideological void left by the end of the Cold War would be replaced not by a coherent vision of the global order but by hucksters willing to use the language of utopian ideals to cover up their crimes? Is it the idea that Steven Seagal is as good at making bouillabaisse as he is at driving knives through the lymph nodes of mercenaries? Listen below, or find us on your podcatcher of choice, to find out!

DAC Episode 326 - The Random Canon #53: Johnny Dangerously (1984)

whatever.

In every life, some rain must fall. In every movie podcast, a Johnny Dangerously is going to happen. This is the movie that fueled a thousand dirty jokes for 12 year old boys in the ‘80s. Adam and Aidan discuss what works, what doesn’t, and why it was they decided to watch it in the first place. Listen below or find us on your podcatcher of choice.

DAC Episode 325 - The Random Canon #52: Thelma & Louise (1991)

a couple of dead lions, pictured here as live dogs.

Movie folks like to bang on about how good 1999 and 2007 were for film (it’s me, I’m the folks), but 1991 has to be a contender for the Great Years in Cinema pantheon. Barton Fink? The Fisher King? Hudson Hawk? Hell yes, Hudson Hawk. And of course, Thelma & Louise. 32 years later, this movie is still a banger, and one of Ridley Scott’s best. Listen to Adam and Aidan rant below (or find us on your podcaster of choice).

DAC Episode 324 - The Random Canon #51: Wasabi (2001)

a couple of live dogs doing… whatever it is they do in this movie.

In 2001, Luc Besson, having conquered the known universe of Eurotainment, turned his eye to the last uncracked nut: the French-Japanese procedural family comedy “what if Chunking Express went insane” co-production. In everyone’s movie library, there’s one that we foist on others in order to initiate them into the circle of cursed viewership. Wasabi is Adam’s cursed movie. Aidan has seen it, and now, he will never be the same. Find us on your podcast of choice or listen below!

DAC Episode 323 - The Random Canon #50: Ronin (1998)

a live dog pretending to be (spoilers) a dead lion.

Adam P. Knave once famously described Ronin (1998) as “two car chases dressed up in a movie”. Luckily for all of us, the record button was on when he said it. Less famously, Aidan said “Yeah, yeah - uh - yeah, that’s - um - right”. Also, what was going on with Sean Bean? And the objectively hilarious resolution? What the hell is going on with this movie? Find us on your podcast of choice or listen below!

DAC Episode 322 - The Random Canon #49: Toys (1992)

a live dog, a dead lion, a guy with a sign.

Toys is one of the weirdest mainstream movies of the 1990s. Barry Levinson, known for adult-oriented blockbusters and nostalgic reveries in the ‘80s, made his passion project in 1992, and boy was it a doozy. Toys is a riot of bold design choices, goofy performances and baffling story choices. It’s one of those movies where great and terrible ideas crowd into every scene, insisting on their own logic, until the only sanity-saving response is to throw up your hands and go with it. Also, don’t let Trevor Horn do your soundtrack, people. Listen below or find us on your podcaster of choice.

DAC Episode 321 - The Random Canon #48: Robot Jox (1989)

they are dead. they are robot jox! but they’re also live dogs.

What happens when you finally allow D.J. Kirkbride on the podcast? According to his rider, all Kirkbride appearances must be accompanied by a discussion of Stuart Gordon’s 1989 mecha-magnum opus Robot Jox. Written by Joe Haldeman, Robot Jox is a strange remix of The Iliad, but with robots and vat-grown humans. Would Homer, given the opportunity, have called his epic poem Robot Jox? We think yes. Listen below or find us on your giant mecha podcaster of choice.

DAC Episode 320 - The Random Canon #47: A Life Less Ordinary (1997)

why is that hair.

What do you when you’re coming off of a run of excellent films, including the nastiest low-budget crime thriller of the ‘90s and a generational cri de coeur about heroin use and Edinburgh street life? Well, you go a wee bit radge and end up making A Life Less Ordinary. Is it a crime thriller? A rom-com? A thesis on the nature of love? A comedy about angels trying to steer a couple towards true love? Sure, why now. Mostly remembered for Ewan MacGregor’s unflattering haircut and a Claymation ending that wraps up a loose plot point, it’s a fascinating and not uncharming misfire from Danny Boyle and John Hodge. Listen below or find us on your podcaster of choice.

DAC Episode 319 - The Random Canon #46: Hudson Hawk (1991)

what a live, live dog is this hawk.

What happens when newly-minted superstar Bruce Willis decides to co-write a screenplay? You get… Hudson Hawk, an unhinged live-action cartoon that feels like the spirit of Max Fleischer inhabiting a ‘90s action movie. What the hell is Richard E. Grant doing in this? What is Sandra Bernhard doing? What in god’s name is David Caruso doing? Why does Andie MacDowell spend so much time doing a dolphin impersonation? This freaking movie, man.

Listen below or sing along on your podcatcher of choice as Adam and Aidan shake their collective heads and bask in the over-the-top glory that is Hudson Hawk.

DAC Episode 318 - The Random Canon #45: Nashville (1975)

a dead lion singing about live dogs.

Part of the Robert Altman subset of The Random Canon, Nashville may be Robert Altman’s masterpiece. Adam and Aidan barely make a dent in this freewheeling, twang-heavy apotheosis of Altman’s attempt to capture substance through his particular style. Listen below or find us on your podplucker of choice.

DAC Episode 317 - The Random Canon #44: Strange Days (1995)

the livest and coolest of dogs from strange days (1995).

Hello friends, and welcome to Destroy All Culture, newly conceived as an Angela Bassett stan podcast. From here on out, even when we’re not talking about Bassett’s performance in Strange Days, that will be the subtext.

Nonetheless, there are all sorts of non-Bassett things in Strange Days we’ll be discussing, such as other performances, script, shooting, mise-en-scène, music, and so on. Come with us as Adam tries to calm Aidan down about Angela Bassett. Listen below or find us on your podcaster of choice.